Rum Punch & A Red Hot Temper

I credit one of my pastors at Quest Community Church, Helen Musick, with the idea for this blog entry.

What's your weakness -- your Achilles heel?

Mine is a red-hot temper.

When I was a news reporter, my temper was infamous among reporters, editors and sources alike.

I once stormed out of a sheriff's office because I'd been promised an exclusive, only to arrive and to see another reporter from the competing paper there, too. I threw a temper tantrum and slammed the door on the way out. When I got back to the newsroom, my editor ordered that I go back. I refused. Right at that moment, as I was yelling at the editor, the phone on my desk rang. It was the sheriff, apologizing. He'd thrown out the other reporter and was asking me to come back. Smugly, I hung up the phone, looked my editor in the eye and snarled, "I told you so," stormed out again and got my rightful exclusive.

I have a bunch of stories like that.

A red hot temper comes in handy if you have the where-with-all on how to handle it.

Unfortunately for me, it usually also leads me down the primrose path of destruction.

Yes, I'm being serious.

More than once, my temper has almost cost me my marriage. It has almost cost me very dear friends. It has always gotten in the middle of my relationships with my mom and brother. And yet, somehow, people keep forgiving me.

Maybe that's the reason I allow myself to fly off the handle.

Admittedly, though, I've tried really hard in recent years to get a handle on this thing. And I've been doing much better.

But there are times when ... my temper creeps up like an old friend and nudges me in the side. "Go on," it tells me. "You know that person has it coming. Give it to 'em. They deserve it. That whiplash tongue of yours can destroy them with a few words. They won't know what hit them."

And of course, they don't.

It takes a great deal of self-will to keep this nasty little bugger at bay -- and of course, there would be no self-will without daily prayer.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Yesterday at Quest, I heard a little story from one of our pastors, Helen Musick. And it reminded me of this ongoing struggle I have with my temper.

Helen had a situation on a cruise. She was tempted to drink some rum punch. For some people, that may not seem like a big deal. But Helen is very open with us at Quest that she is a recovering alcoholic. I watched as she told her story on stage. Her voice quavered. She shook a little. She showed us how she brought the glass to her face, then right up to under her nose, where she could breathe in the aroma of the alcohol. But just before she could taste it, her husband showed up. She looked into his eyes -- and she saw grace. She immediately put the drink down. She felt very ashamed and abashed about this whole thing.

As I reflected on Helen's experience, I could really relate to it. There have been countless times -- countless times -- when I have held the cup of anger to my nose and breathed in a whiff of its powerful charm.

I love telling people off. I really do. I get a charge in putting them in their place and not letting them get away with anything.

But God's Spirit has made it very clear to me that this is sinful. It does not reflect the person that He wants me to be. It is a great temptation to me to allow myself the luxury of sounding off.

So here is the question I have for you ... and I've posed it to Helen as well ...

When does temptation become sin?

Does it require full action? For example ... Do you think that when Helen held that rum punch to her nose, that was a sin? See, I don't. But on the other hand, I think to myself ... does desire in and of itself constitute sin? If you want something badly but do not partake of it, have you sinned because you wanted it?

I struggle with the same thing with my temper.

If I want to tell someone off -- really badly -- is the desire to do so a sin? Is it just as bad for me to stand in front of the mirror and yell the words at my reflection? Even though they're not present and can't hear my words, is it acting on the anger?

Or ... are we struggling with our human natures? Just struggling ... not sinning?

When we pray in the Lord's Prayer, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," I really think this is what Jesus is talking about -- these situations where we are right on the edge, right on the abyss of falling. We need Him to step in and help us get out of those situations with rum punch -- or those feelings of red-hot anger -- so that we can walk away whole.

And if we fail ... as Helen put it so beautifully yesterday ... are we willing to forgive ourselves as He forgives us?

I don't really have answers for you in this blog entry. I'm just mulling it. And what better place to mull it than here at Priscilla's and Aquila's Place?

So what about you?

What are your struggles? What are your thoughts on this?

How can I pray for you?