Worrying. What do we do about it? And can it ever be conquered?
Yesterday on Twitter, the trolls piled on when I asserted that worrying empties tomorrow of its strength. They accused me of "ableism" and roundly made assumptions based on what they presumed to be my background.
A few hours into this, I realized the accusations were based in a separate reality -- one that does not recognize God's provision or providence, care or love. You see, I think I corner the market on worrying. For the past decade, I've had to deal with worry as a single and divorced mom of a son who is on the autism spectrum.
When I was newly out of my marriage, the worry was easily about money. When my son was first diagnosed with autism, the worry was about his future. When he spent time away from me a few states away with his father's family, the worry was about getting him home safely. When he was bullied at school, the worry mounted about his safety. Fast forward to 2020, and we're home 100% of the time with the pandemic. Like the rest of the world, the worry was about this unknown virus.
I was scolded yesterday on Twitter by someone who asserted that worry is part of our "evolution" and the way our brains adapt to new circumstances.
Now, if you're approaching this from a humanist, non-believer point of view, then that person would be correct. If you've never known God in your life or depended on Him when the worry creeps in, of course, you're going to assert that worry is based in mental health and is part of the evolution of humanity.
But here's the thing. Each time over the past 10 years when I worried, whether it was about money, my son's future or safety, or even the pandemic, I also had to simultaneously recognize what Jesus said in Matthew 6:25-34:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I understand why people might assume that I'm being a "judgy church lady." They have no foundation of what God does when you actually follow these verses and put them into practice.
See ... each time one of my worries snatched at me, I did three things. First, I recognized the worry and acknowledged the problem. Next, I prayed about it. And I don't mean a glib "Please bless me" prayer. I mean a real and deep conversation with my Creator who understood the severity of the issue. Finally, I told Him that the issue was in His hands.
Now this may seem like an over-simplified approach to life. And I'm not going to tell you that over those years I didn't suffer from anxiety or depression. When you're a single mom, particularly if you've had to escape an abusive spouse with a small child, you must have good mental health support. I did have that support, and I did take anti-depressants when that was warranted. So I am not one of those people who will tell you to eschew science for the things that will help the chemistry of your brain to heal.
But I also believe in God's power to intervene. Each time I prayed with faith that He would solve the problem, it was solved. Sometimes, it was solved within 3 minutes of the prayer. Sometimes, it was solved over a few months. Once, it was solved in a courtroom while I prayed before I had to stand before a judge and argue for custody of my son. In all instances, when the worry ate at my soul, I countered it with prayer. In all instances, God solved the problem.
The thing about worry, though, is that if you do not have faith in God, you'll never understand this. I've had many atheists demand that I show them a "miracle" to prove God's existence, for example. If I gave them these examples of how God calmed my heart and mind with His peace and then shortly later solved the problem, they would tell me, "It doesn't count. That's not proof. That's your opinion."
Well ... but that's why worry is not an issue for me. When it becomes an issue, I bring it to the Almighty. He hears me, and He answers.
Over time in your spiritual walk with Him, you have more and more opportunities to see His faithfulness like this. When I was younger, faith was more difficult, because I didn't have the experiences to show me that He was faithful. I just had to trust Him. He never let me down. Over the years, I've discovered that faith becomes easier for me -- because He has proven Himself to me over .. and over ... and over ... and over.
No, I'm not telling you to suck it up and look for the sunshine. I'm telling you that when you put your hand in God's and give Him the situation, it's solved for you. I don't know how it will be solved. But if you ask in faith, it will be solved.
And what about the times when I know I lack the faith and trust for this to happen?
I tell Him. The prayer becomes, "I want to be able to trust You for this situation, and I lack faith. Give me faith so that I trust you and stop worrying."
And you know what?
He does. Every single time.
Worry can be conquered. You can't add an hour to your life by worrying. But you can add an eternity to your relationship with the One who sees you, knows you, and will become your Champion who will fight the battle for you.
Worry not for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And He's got your back. You don't have to worry about that.
